It's getting into my nerves!

I never thought that I would reach this point that I wont no longer have much interest to attend my classes. Boredom rules my mind and my totality as an Individual. I am at my last year and last 2 months of Bachelors Degree but It seemed to me that this 2 months left is equivalent and the summary of the four years I have and needed to go through to finish college. I don't even know what's wrong with me and what's making it hard for me to attend my classes. I am aware that I have problems (personal and not so personal) but I am managing it that it wont affect my studies. The problems I am facing at this moment isn't the reason why? It is basically me. . .my attitude!

I hate myself for being irresponsible. I am not using my mind productively, I know that I could have been better and I could have competed along with the others but I really failed myself - my own expectations. Laziness, hinders my growth and it always has been my personal struggle to fight against it but I hardly can defeat my own weakness. Of all the weaknesses that a Man could have - why laziness? I don't know if it is morally correct to hate myself but I wont consider its morality because my career and future is at stake. No matter how hard it would be - I will go through this and at the end I will finish this maze with HONOR, and PRIDE!

I can be a better person and a better MAN. . .I wont let this detriment my high hopes, plans and ambitions! This wont be the reason for me not to go for higher education. This will serve as my own challenge! I'll make my mom proud of me!!!

*note alay ko para kay inay*


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